The Big Day

Today is the day....I have to go and collect the rest of my belongings from the 'scene of the crime'. I moved everything out from inside the house a while ago, but all of the things that are packed away together with his need to be sorted through. I'm feeling nervous about it. I woke up at 4am, as I have been doing since this all began, and tried to put myself in a good headspace about it. Sometimes the resistance to that is overwhelming, and today, so far, seems to be one of those times.

I've been trying to apply what I have learned from reading 'The Astonishing Power Of Emotions' by Esther and Jerry Hicks.....based on the Law of Attraction, it says that when you are feeling negative emotion, you are incapable of attracting anything other than more of the same into your reality. This has been a double edged sword for me...sometimes I can catch myself and can change my train of thought, reaching for something that creates a better feeling. Other times I notice it and yet for the life of me can't seem to do anything about it. It's HARD to change the way you feel when you are experiencing strong emotion! In fact, according to Abraham, it's actually impossible to make a huge leap, from the lowest to the highest. Luckily, even a small shift is helpful so I focus on that in times of great difficulty. If I can't feel joy, or even contentment, I try for anger as an improvement over despair, dissapointment as an improvement over anger. If I can, I make it to contentment, or at least to an absence of negativity. Often easier said than done at this point!