Working With Energy

I spent the latter part of my childhood in an environment that encouraged energy work and spiritual pursuits. One of the most often heard sayings around our house was 'You Create Your Own Reality'. Of course,I didn't exactly understand the implications of that at the time, but I always knew that I had to take some level of responsibility for my life circumstances.

I've spent a lot of my life since then conveniently forgetting this, and bemoaning my situation...blaming it on various things in my past and sometimes in my distant past, my previous lives. Even though I had read all of Carlos Castaneda and Jane Roberts 'Seth Speaks' series by the time I was 12 years old, I was not capable at that time of absorbing the messages in those wonderful books. To me they were just stories. I'm sure I got some benefit from them, but I've realized lately that unless I am open to the message that a particular medium contains, I am better off leaving it aside, knowing it is there, and coming to it when I am ready. I am currently experiencing this very thing with an amazing book called 'The Presence Process' by Michael Brown. I know many people who are raving about this, and yet I don't feel quite ready to embark on that particular path. It sits patiently on my bookshelf, and I feel that soon I will be taking it down and getting involved.

When I was in my deepest crisis and despair, right after my sudden separation, I was searching. I knew I needed help but didn't know which direction to turn. I made one appointment with a counsellor, and knew afterwards that I wouldn't return. It didn't feel right. At my worst I even considered checking myself into the psych ward..there were moments when I didn't fully trust myself to remain willingly in my body in the face of so much pain.

The first step on the path I am now on was to pick up two books that I was drawn to in a bookstore on a particularly bad day when I had no choice but to be out and about for my job. I already mentioned one of them in my first post, Neal Donald Walschs' 'When Everything Changes, Change Everything'. The other was 'Broken Open' by Elizabeth Lesser. With those, I began to get a little glimpse of awareness....I could relate to their message. From there I found Abraham-Hicks and that material REALLY spoke to me. I am reminded of the Buddhist proverb 'When the Student is Ready, the Teacher Will Appear'. I guess I am ready! Too bad I wasn 't ready when I was 12....imagine how much time I could have saved :)